


all the real boys in their black jeans

by inmylife



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Gen, Gender Identity, Jaskier AND Yennefer are trans in this one fight me, Trans Character, geralt cares about jaskier even though jaskier doesn't know it, there arent enough trans fics in this fandom i gotta contribute, this is lowkey not my best writing but whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:35:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22515571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inmylife/pseuds/inmylife
Summary: Jaskier blossoms.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 7
Kudos: 139





	all the real boys in their black jeans

**Author's Note:**

> title from Young James Dean by Girlyman.

Julia Pankratz is not a boy. 

That’s what everyone keeps telling her, anyway. She  _ feels _ like one… sometimes. Sometimes she’s alright with the high, unchanging timbre of her voice, when now, at thirteen, the boys she grew up with are starting to crackle when they speak. Sometimes she’s alright with dancing the girls’ parts of the dances. But other times the name  _ Julia _ sends this pulse of sickness into her stomach, and other times the knowledge that her period is coming is even more painful than its actual occurrence. 

She wears her shirts loose and baggy, and decides that all the songs she writes will be authored under the name  _ Jaskier _ . She’s never felt like a Julia.

It starts slow, after she (he? Jaskier doesn’t know) leaves home. It starts with wearing pants, because they’re easier to travel in. And then Jaskier wears men’s shirts, because if he (she?) is going to wear pants anyway might as well go all the way. And then in a bar someone calls Jaskier a man. He (yes, he) doesn’t correct them. 

He’s good with the ladies. He’s popular enough with men, sure, but the women… oh, how they love fucking someone who knows exactly where to touch to get them gasping. If any of them ever question his manhood (is he a man?), they don’t do it to his face, and that’s enough for him. 

He starts to sing lower, and lower, and lower. He’d always been an alto, and this comes in handy now - he can pass for a tenor most days. And, well, when he doesn’t… it’s easier to believe a bard’s a eunuch than a woman. This, Jaskier thinks, is why it came so easy. 

The thing about Geralt of Rivia is that he seems to know, despite Jaskier never letting on. He’s good by now at hiding the pain that comes with his monthly cycles, a master at keeping his chest flat and breasts concealed. And yet Jaskier never once has to ask Geralt to turn his back while he changes clothes. And yet Geralt snarls at all the vengeful husbands who say that Jaskier isn’t a real man for the sole sin of having fucked their wives. 

Jaskier doesn’t know when he told Geralt his secret, but he’s glad that Geralt keeps it, and he’s glad that Geralt never asks. 

Yeah, okay, when he grabs the djinn from Geralt, most of him is just pissed about Geralt’s “fillingless pie” comment. But there’s a little pocket that, well… Jaskier knows exactly what he’d wish for, and it would be to have been born a man, a man without breasts and periods and with a voice that drops. He makes two dumb wishes to piss off Geralt and then Geralt screams at him and then his throat swells and Jaskier is filled up with fear. 

While Geralt throws him onto Roach - funny how the only time Jaskier gets to ride that horse is when he’s choking - Jaskier knows he should be thinking about how he can’t breathe. And, yeah, he thinks about that for some of the time. He doesn’t want to die. He’s scared. He likes this life he lives, with Geralt and wine and women and singing. But he also hates himself for leaving his greatest wish for last. 

He drifts in and out of consciousness at the witch’s house, but he does catch one thing. 

“Leave his shirt on,” says Geralt, warningly. 

The witch laughs. “I was like him, once.” 

“Like him…” 

“They called me a man,” she tells Geralt abruptly. “It was during my training that I named myself Yennefer. The enchantments they give us, at the end, to make us… ideal… I took advantage of it.”

“I see.” 

Yennefer laughs again. “I could see his secret on him from the moment you came in. But don’t worry, I won’t tell.” 

Bitter jealousy follows Jaskier into sleep. 

He is frustrated when he wakes. 

He doesn’t know why. There is something nagging at his memory, something he  _ should have done _ , but he doesn’t know what. He’s in a bed he doesn’t recognize - this is normal enough, he figures he just drank too much last night. 

And then the door slams open and some woman is there, and Jaskier’s first and only thought is that he hates her, and he doesn’t know why. As the resentment bubbles up into him, she shouts at him to make a wish, any wish, and there’s this odd wind and Jaskier is  _ scared _ so he does what any reasonable person would do, he wishes to leave. He screams it into the air and the crazy woman seems satisfied and so Jaskier flees. 

Oh. There’s Geralt. 

“We need to go,” he tells him. 

“She saved your life, Jaskier,” Geralt pushes back. She… what? “I can’t let her die.”

“Oh, don’t tell me this is when you finally decide to care about someone other than yourself.” 

Geralt’s face twists, and he pushes Jaskier aside, charging into the big stone house. 

Jaskier wonders. 

It’s sheer bad luck that the day they have to pass through his hometown, Jaskier gets his period. It hurts worse, because he sees the signpost for his hometown at the same time he feels the first pulse of pain. He stops short. 

“Jaskier,” Geralt says, as Geralt often does. Just his name and nothing else. “Get a move on.”

Usually what Jaskier would do is keep walking. But this time he can’t. He’s stuck there, hurting, in more ways than one. 

“Idiot bard,” sighs the Witcher, and gets Roach moving again. 

But Jaskier speaks before he can get very far. “This is where I grew up, Geralt.” 

Geralt stops Roach, and Roach makes a frustrated noise at Geralt’s indecision. Jaskier doesn’t know what Geralt is about to do; the Witcher had never been one for sentimental talks or anything, and he certainly rarely shows he cares about other people. He worries that Geralt is about to yell. 

Her mother screams at her. (His mother screams at him.)

“You’ve torn your dress! Do you know how much care went into that? I’m ashamed and you should be too.” 

Her father shouts at her. (His father shouts at him.)

“Music is for men. Keep that lute out of your hands, you’ve ruined our family pride enough.” 

Julia is afraid. Julia is ashamed. 

(Jaskier tries his hardest to be neither.)

“When did you cut your hair?” 

Geralt’s question, barely related, abruptly brings Jaskier back to the present. “Um. Years ago. I don’t remember.”

“But it was after you left.” 

“Oh, of course,” Jaskier replies. “Wait… what does that have to do with anything.”

Geralt… dismounts Roach. This jars Jaskier, because he knows it means Geralt is taking the conversation seriously. 

Oh, god, he realizes with a jolt. Geralt  _ cares _ about him. 

“I can’t do much for the pain,” Geralt says, gesturing vaguely towards Jaskier’s stomach, “and I can’t change you. But I can assure you that they will not recognize you. It will have been too long.” 

Jaskier walks into his hometown head high. He forces himself not to waver. They stay just for a night, just long enough to sleep and refuel and for Geralt to placate his uptight horse. Jaskier sings in a tavern that didn’t exist when he was a child. He recognizes the man behind the counter. The barman doesn’t recognize him. 

Jaskier leaves the next morning full of relief. He catches Geralt smiling at him. It’s raining, but he almost doesn’t feel it. 

Truly and forever, he leaves his old self behind. 

**Author's Note:**

> hey what up im shiloh im nonbinary and i love jaskier with all my heart
> 
> me? making all my faves trans? its more likely than u think
> 
> anyway i'm on tumblr @deep-hearts-core if u wanna tell me how much i suck


End file.
